I figured out what I need; why I have been useless all day. It’s something I lack and it’s something I miss.
The heat, the sun, the thirst in late august, the warm wind caressing my skin, the feel of soft cotton and silk upon my feet, across my stomach. I remember the dryness, the grass standing still, the clear clear sky, almost white, not even a cloud, and the smells of summer, the air, the movement of all kinds of creatures.
And I can’t stand it any more, the winter, cold and wet and frozen. Like we’re stuck in time. Time never flows in winter, seconds feel like days. You can never stay outside late when it’s January. Your limbs freeze, and eventually your insides too.
God, I want it to be summer. Then all nights will be mine to love, mine to stare at the starry sky, mine to watch the moon as it changes her shadows. I want to watch the sun set, to see the wonderful colors fill the horizon, like stripes on a sweater.
I miss the dirt beneath my toenails, the dust in my hair, the sun burnt skin that itches when you touch it.
I am a summer person, and I could never feel comfortable when the weather is frozen and snowy. My temperature is 28, my birth month is August, my personality is summer rain and my soul craves the summer sun.
I’ll be there soon, just watch me bloom, watch me rise and shine. I’ll be a godess in my humble universe.