Journal Page 4-At The End of Expectation

When expectation ends, usually comes disappointment. Not this time. This time I do not care. And I feel good. And I endlessly listen to Life in Technicolor II.

The questions I might have now are rhetorical, and many others before me asked divinity the same questions. So I won’t ask. Because there is no answer. It simply is. Exists. A state of mind and body. A state we’re all in (except for the dead ones, of course, but they’re alive in our hearts).

I like subtle things. They are mysterious and make you think and make your heart beat faster. Subtle books are brilliant, so are subtle jokes. But sometimes I just need it straight forward. Say it and go! Or stay, if this is the case.

Oh well, maybe I should go and do something productive, like learn or draw or take a shower then sleep or whatever.

I want to go swimming. I long for the water. Almost like a fish. One who’s afraid not to drown. Still, underwater it’s just me and myself.  Total silence. And I need that. I don’t want to hear a sound. Anything. I want to feel the nasty chlorine in my nose and  the cold water prickling my skin, my hair around my face and the desperate need for some Oxygen.

Until then,

God help me tomorrow at school!




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Filed under despre mine, despre viata, jurnal

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